Sari Fishman’s Inner Self Portrait is an extraordinary exploration of the human psyche, blending raw emotion and introspection. Through her poetry, Fishman talks about some of life’s most difficult themes: pain, suicide, emotional distance, and the tension between fantasy and reality.
Two poems that stand out in this regard are A Poem on Suicide, and From a Distance It’s Best, both of which reflect the complex role of inner turmoil and detachment.
These poems showcase the delicate and often painful balance between closeness and withdrawal, between confronting harsh truths and seeking refuge in illusion.
The author’s imagery and fearless use of language create an emotional intensity that invites readers to confront their feelings about vulnerability, pain, and the ways we cope with them.
Thin Line Between Life and Fantasy
In A Poem on Suicide, Fishman addresses the fragility of life and the haunting allure of escape. The poem begins with the image of “hanging from a thin rope for a fleeting moment between you and me,” immediately immersing readers in a metaphorical space of suspended tension. The rope, fragile and dangerous, represents the delicate balance between life and death, connection and disconnection. In this fleeting moment, the speaker is caught between two worlds, unsure of whether to hold on or let go.
Fishman continues to explore this tension by stating, “it is all in the head, life / the colors red / until the crash.” Here, life itself is reduced to a mental construct, a color, a fleeting thought, a sensation that exists only until the inevitable crash. The reference to the color red is particularly powerful, symbolizing both life (blood, vitality) and death (violence, danger). The crash, in this context, represents the moment when fantasy gives way to reality when the hard truths of existence shatter the fleeting beauty of illusion.
The poem’s final lines, “fantasy will penetrate reality / and falsehood will satiate the twosome,” reflect the dangerous allure of escaping into illusion. Fantasy becomes a way to avoid confronting the harshness of reality, but it also creates a false sense of satisfaction. A temporary, shallow reprieve that ultimately leaves the individual unfulfilled. In A Poem on Suicide, Sari asks readers to reflect on the ways we cope with life’s most painful moments, often by retreating into fantasy instead of facing our emotional struggles head-on.
Safety of Emotional Detachment
While A Poem on Suicide explores the desire for escape through fantasy, From a Distance It’s Best goes into the complexities of emotional detachment. In this poem, Sari creates a picture of distance as both a protective measure and a form of self-deception. The speaker admits, “from a distance it’s best / that way / no one gets hurt,” suggesting that emotional distance is a strategy for avoiding pain.
By keeping people at arm’s length, the speaker can maintain a sense of control and safety, even if it comes at the cost of true connection.
Her use of visual imagery in this poem is striking. The speaker describes blurring the other person “inside the frame” and transforming them into “a breathtaking impressionist picture.”
This act of transformation, turning a living, breathing individual into an abstract image, reflects the desire to keep emotions at bay, to reduce the complexity of human relationships into something distant and manageable.
By turning the other person into a work of art, the speaker can admire them from afar without ever having to engage with the messy realities of love, intimacy, and vulnerability.
The line “do not move, idée fixe” shows the speaker’s fear of change and instability. By freezing the other person in time and turning them into an unchanging, idealized image, the speaker avoids the risk of being hurt.
But in doing so, they also miss out on the depth and richness of true emotional connection. This tension between safety and fulfillment is at the heart of From a Distance It’s Best, where emotional detachment provides temporary relief but ultimately leaves the speaker feeling isolated and unfulfilled.
Pain and Detachment
Together, A Poem on Suicide and From a Distance It’s Best shows the ways in which humans face the pain of existence. In A Poem on Suicide, the speaker is caught between the desire to escape reality through fantasy and the inevitability of crashing back into life’s harshness. In From a Distance It’s Best, the speaker copes with the fear of emotional pain by retreating into detachment, creating a safe distance from others but at the cost of true intimacy.
We all seek ways to protect ourselves from the hurt that comes with being vulnerable, whether through fantasy, detachment, or emotional withdrawal. But as Fishman’s poetry reminds us, these coping mechanisms often come at a cost. By avoiding pain, we also avoid the potential for connection, growth, and healing.
Conclusion
In Inner Self Portrait, Sari Fishman confronts some of life’s most difficult emotions with raw honesty and unflinching courage. She invites readers to explore the contradictions of love, pain, and emotional distance. Her fearless language challenges us to confront the ways we cope with pain, whether by retreating into fantasy or keeping others at a distance.
Ultimately, Fishman’s poetry is a powerful reminder that while pain is an inevitable part of the human experience, so too is the potential for connection and healing. Her work encourages readers to embrace the complexity of their emotions, face their fears head-on, and seek out the beauty that lies in vulnerability.
Ready to explore the depths of human emotion? Get your copy of Inner Self Portrait today!
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